Sleep can become difficult for many reasons. Changes in routine, unfamiliar environments, stress, screens, worries, or simply being out of sync with the people around us can all play a part.

For many adults, difficulty sleeping shows up during periods of pressure or change. When that happens, sleep can start to feel like something we need to fix. Often, that sense of effort is part of what keeps it out of reach.

This article isn’t about fixing your sleep or doing everything “right”. It’s about making small, realistic adjustments that may help your body and mind settle over time.

Take what feels useful. Leave the rest.

A regular rhythm …when possible

Our bodies tend to respond well to rhythm, even when sleep itself feels unreliable.

You might experiment with:

• Getting up at roughly the same time each day

• Avoiding very long lie-ins after a poor night

• Letting tiredness build naturally towards the evening

This isn’t about being strict or forcing sleep. It’s more about offering your body some steady cues and seeing how it responds.

Separating day from night

When sleep becomes difficult, nights can start to blur into the day. This is especially common if you work, study, or spend a lot of time in the same space.

Some gentle ways of signalling “night-time” include:

• Dimming lights in the evening, or having a warm, non-caffeinated drink

• Changing into night clothes, even if you don’t yet feel sleepy

• Gradually easing away from stimulating or demanding activities

If you live with others, or don’t have much space, this can be tricky. Aim for small signals rather than an ideal routine.

Beds are for rest …not pressure

When sleep is hard to come by, the bed can slowly become a place of tension rather than rest.

You could try:

• Using your bed mainly for sleep and relaxation

• Sitting elsewhere if you feel very alert or caught up in your thoughts

• Returning to bed once sleepiness begins to return

Lying awake doesn’t mean you’re doing sleep wrong. It’s simply your body being awake.

Screens, stimulation, and winding down

Phones, laptops, and televisions can keep the mind alert, even when the body is tired.

Rather than cutting screens out completely, it may help to:

• Create a loose wind-down period before bed

• Shift towards calmer or more familiar content later in the evening

• Reduce brightness or use night-mode settings

The aim here is to lower stimulation, not to create another set of rules to follow.

Working with thoughts at night

Many people notice their thoughts become louder at bedtime. This is very common, particularly after a busy or emotionally charged day.

If this happens, it might help to:

• Remind yourself that increased thinking at night is normal

• Write worries down to come back to later

• Gently focus on something neutral, such as music, breathing, or a familiar podcast

Trying to stop thoughts altogether often makes them louder. Allowing them some space can be more effective.

During the day matters too

Sleep is influenced by what happens long before bedtime.

Helpful daytime habits can include:

• Getting some daylight, especially earlier in the day

• Eating regularly

• Moving your body in ways that feel manageable

• Noticing how late-day caffeine affects you

As before, small changes are enough.

Being kind to yourself about sleep

Poor sleep can be frustrating and worrying. It can also feel isolating, especially when it starts to affect mood or concentration.

It can help to remember:

• One bad night doesn’t predict the next

• Rest still has value, even without sleep

• Your body hasn’t forgotten how to sleep, even if it’s a bit out of practice

Sleep often improves when the pressure around it decreases.

If sleep difficulties are ongoing, or beginning to affect your wellbeing, you may find it helpful to talk with a counsellor. You can read more about how I work, and the support I offer online across the UK and face to face in Chesterfield on this website.